Defining Singleness

Audio: Claire Walker

1 Corinthians 7:7 I would that all men were as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

According to the KJV Bible Dictionary Singleness is the state of being single, unmarried or separate from all others. It is the opposite of doubleness, complication, or multiplicity. In other words, “singleness is not having a covenanted intimate partner, call wife or husband. But is a gift that must be timely explored”.

In everyday life there are forms that we regularly encounter and need to complete for various transactions and reasons. On these forms is often the field that says “marital status” giving two options: 1. Married 2. Single. The ability to read is not widely the problem but interpretation to give the correct answer is. Why? Because culturally, though a lot of people may not be married, they are in an intimate relationship. Quite often these relationships are going for over 5 years. So, what do I choose; married or single? Their struggle to choose an option is as a result of the inability to sufficiently define and interpret their status.

The correct definition, interpretation and knowledge of singleness is not just a cultural issue but has also widely become a religious issue. May I be more specific to say “a Christian issue”, and sadly so. In order to fully appreciate anything, one must have adequate knowledge and understanding of what it is, how it functions, and also the value and benefits of the thing.

Across the arena of the church there is an unfair, socially debilitating way of looking at singleness. The concept is skewed because singleness is not taught adequately and as a result the sufficiency of understanding is not unfolded. This leaves too great a number of singles, including youth and older members, to agonize and grieve their state while failing to fully enjoy the beauty and fulfilling enrichment that singleness entails.

As Christian believers we must first acknowledge and embrace the fact that “Singleness” is a gift and the giver of this gift is God. He will not withhold any good thing from us. Therefore, we must make that conscious decision to appreciate God’s purpose and plan by trusting the process.

Prayer of confession:
Lord, forgive me for not appreciating the giver and the gift of singleness. Wash me from an agonizing, impatient and grieving state of mind in relation to my single state. Now, help me Lord to embrace the timely unfolding of the beauty and rich fulfillment of this gift. Help me also to be patient while trusting your will. In Jesus name.

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